Monday, June 28, 2010


I am freaking out!!!! Why you may ask....Cause I am going to COMIC CON!!! Comic F!#king Con.If you don't know what it is, it is comic book / sci fi convention that happens every year in San Diego. If you are a geek , like me, then this is your mother ship coming home. This is your Mecca....this is were you go to see , and geek out, on everything comic book and sci fi related.

I am still in shock that I am going. It hasn't hit me yet.I have already cried about the fact that I am going. This is a dream come true for me, seriously.

I will be going with my friends Michelle and Paul.It's going to be AWESOME.

This may really be one of the first things I get to check off my "bucket list". ( I will try to put that up later this week)

I am going to see so many freaks and is going to be ridiculous.

Omg! OMG! OMG!!!OMG!!OMG!!OMG!!!omg..omg! omg!!! I can't believe this is happening....EEEKKKK!

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Castle in the Sky

So yesterday I went to the Biltmore Estate with my friend Cristina. ( her middle name is Margarita ). We had a GREAT time. It was really hot!!!

We walked around the house for about an hour and half. We did the audio tour..yep that's right we were the dorks with the head phones on. It was educational. Ha! I love all the details that house has. the art, THE LI BARY. The library is my favorite room in the house. From the painted ceiling to the spiral stairs, to the old lovely books on the shelves. I will stop now..I'm just babbling.

Then we went to the gardens. I love the gardens. It peaceful and yet full of life all at the same time.I love art , as you know, and I think a garden is art.i wish my sister in law could have seen it, she a florist, she would have loved it.

We went to the creamery. Delicious!!! Speaking of delicious...our lunch was delicious. Hummus, goat cheese, fried pickles. We at Cedric tavern. Highly recommended.

All in all it was a great day !! Thanks Cristina!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am Kitty Pryde...( this one is for Cristina becasue she asked me too)

( I will probably be crying the whole time I write this, don't worry.I am fine. I am just crying because God is good ...even when I push him away.)(This Blog is more therapeutic for me then me really keeping people up to date on my here we go with some therapy)

I love comic books.Particularly marvel comic books. Even more particularly X-men. I have loved the X-men since I was little, I am talk like 10 or 11 here.Phoenix is my favorite..if i had to pick one.

I try to go every two weeks, when the new issues come out, to pick up my X-men comics.These little books are art to me. I love art!!!!!It makes me happy, it opens my mind and my heart. It makes feel close to God when I am surround by art. Weird, I know.

So, for almost my whole life I have loved the x-men. Watched them on T.V., read about there adventures, watched them on the movie screen, Silently stared at the art on the slick pages for years. I LOVE comic books....deeply!!!!

The set up:

About a year a ago I was out to eat with my one of my Pastors, Amanda Martin, I was telling her about some of my "story". about how the Lord had healed some wounds that were in my life, How I had struggled with depression for years, about ALL the walls I had built up to keep the emotions out of my life. I was so broken, I couldn't handle feeling anything.

At one point of my life I had given up on God.I felt like he had given me some low blows, so to speak, in my life.I had some stuff happen that I couldn't bounce back from.So, I stood on the "edge" and cussed Him out. Blamed him for the hurt and pain in my life.I grew bitter and angry towards him.I ran as far as could away from him.I drowned in my sorrows. I cut myself to pieces( literally), I pushed everyone I loved away.From the outside nothing ever really changed. I did what was expected of me...I just smiled on the outside...and was living in hell on the inside. I felt invisible to this world. I felt like I was a women set on fire, standing in a room full of people holding glasses of water and no one would help put the fire out.I carried so much grief and sorrow around that I could barely breathe. I was in pain, I was bitter, I was wounded, I was sinful, I was hurt, I was a bitch, I was lost.....I was alone because I refused the only person that could fix me, God.

I continued to tell Amanda that when I couldn't handle it any more I went to God and said...." I am ready, I am sorry"I told her that I found out that God was there even when I was drowning myself in sorrow and cutting myself to pieces. .It's and on going process, God fixing me. Its taken years to break down the walls I had put up. He healed my soul, he has made me new. He gives me strength to face my fears and not be so afraid of this life He has given me.

That's when she looked at me and said" Do you know who the x-men are?" See, she didn't know about my love for X-men. I laughed and said " yeah, there my favorite".

Amanda: Do you know who Kitty Pryde is?

Me: yeah, she can walk through walls or any solid object for that matter.

Amanda: Well, that's who you are. I think that's who God has made you to be, you can walk through walls and the best part is Kitty Pryde helps people go through the walls too.When people are with Kitty, she helps them walk through whatever is in there way. Whatever is trapping them from moving on.

This my not make since to you but to me it was like a light bulb going off.Right in that moment God showed me what she meant by it.Have you ever had a vision from God? I have ,I get them just get used to it being weird.

I had a vision of me running through walls, full force, nothing holding me back.Never having to be stuck behind a "wall" again.
It meant a lot to me that God would use something I have loved for most of my life to show me a picture of who I am now.

He has healed my wounds. He has loved me back to a place were I feel like a person again.He has given me the ability to walk through my walls. He never left my side, even in my darkest hours.I was just too blind to see that He was there right beside me. I love him with every ounce of my body. We still fight, I still yell at him.... But God is too much a part of me now for me to walk away from him again.He is down in my very just cant walk away from something or someone like that. I don't know what its like to breathe without him beside me....and that's the way I want it. I don't want there to ever be an option for me to leave him agian.

I was lost but now I am found.I was blind but now I see....

There is more to the story but that was a lot for one post . I will stop here!

This is Kitty Pryde signing off! ;)

10 years..

( we are missing a couple of peopel in the above photo)
A couple of weekends ago I went to my 10 year high school reinion. Whats that you say ?.... I dont look old enough to have graduated 10 years ago.

You make me blush!


I went to RCS ( Resurrection Christian School). We were a small school. I graduated with 19 other people. I love each and ever one of them.We went through high school together...If that doesn't build a bond for life I don't know what will. HA!

It was great to see everybody!We had a good time.

I had a tough time the last year and a half of high school. Its hard enough being an emotional , hormonal teenager then lets add one of my close friends dieing.It was hard, theirs were days when I didn't want to get out of bed, days where it would have been easier to die myself then have to live through another moment , there were days were there was cutting, suicidal thoughts and just plan not remembering how got anywhere cause I would just blank out. ( I didn't really start talking about what went on in that time in my life till about 2 years ago). The point of my telling all that sad stuff is this...The people I went to high school with, helped my get through my days with out ever knowing that they were helping me.( Jesus helped me too)
They hold a special place in my heart.I love seeing them whenever I can. I still have some very close relationships with some of the people I graduated with. I love the fact that I can still call people I went to high school with friends ten years later. Not many people can do that.

We were a rowdy bunch. All the rules were made for us. ALL OF THEM.We broke all of them too.We were good kids....but like I said..we were rowdy!

So here is to the class of 2000! I love ya!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

30 Things

My pastor, Johnathan Martin, Gave us a challenge this week. We need to come up with 30 things we are thankful for. So here we go.( no particular order)

1.My family
2.My friends ( they are pretty great)
3.My job ( even if it does drive me crazy)
4.My car
5.My church
5.That I get to greet people every signal Sunday at my church :)
6.That my friends are dorks just like me
8. comic books
10. My favorite songs when they come up on my ipod when it on shuffle
11.My flowers at my front door.
12.When I get to spend time with my friends kids...there cute.
13.For still being alive
16. airplanes
17.for beautiful places on this earth that I haven't even seen yet.
18.For early morning sunlight when it hits my curtains just right..and it make my room looks like its golden.
19.that I am not lonely anymore
20.For my CLG
22.Fall ( the season)
23.Carved pumpkins
25.Road trips
26. Laughing so hard I cry
27.The perfect cup of coffee
29.For you :)

What are you thankful for?