Saturday, July 3, 2010

Love...its strange

Love is powerful thing. It changes’ you ……When you let it. The moment you let in …it changes your life forever.

I am not just talking about a love between couples. I am still single so I haven’t really gotten to that type of commitment yet.

I am talking about your family, friends, place in the world. When it hits you one day…” I love _____.” The first time a parent sees’s there kid. The first time you have the most perfect chocolate croissant. The first time you decided this person seating beside you is your new best friend. The moment you fall in love with a book I could go on and on.

I fall in love with places. Does that sound weird? Book stores. I love bookstores. I am pretty sure the inside of my heat looks like one. I love the way they smell… paper and ink and coffee….I love that air never moves, it quite, it has lots and lots of shelves. I love that you feel all the unread words in the air circling around you head. I love how a book can find you. I love how you can fall in love with a book…The language, the feelings, the rhythm and the rhyme of the writer. The characters, the setting…I love how I get attached to books. I love the feel a new hardback book. So crisp!! And that smell….that’s what words smell like to me.

My love affair with books and book stores go back to when I was younger. I had tough time learning how to read and to spell. I still struggle with spelling. My brain just gets confused. Anyway when I was teenager I feel in love with reading….it calms me down it helps me focus…it makes me happy to read. Reading is quite…I like the quite. I am not a bigger talker..I can have a conversation, yes but I don’t need to fell the empty space with talk. I love everything about a book the pages, the ink, the glue…….. Everything.

I love fall, the season, its cold and quite. It smells of fallen summer. The leaves are on the ground. I can wear hoodies and flip flops at the same time. There are apples, and carved pumpkins, chocolate dip marshmallows, trips to the mountains…the sun sets early. If I was a season I would be fall. The music group Bon Iver sounds like what fall feels like to me. Does that make scenes?? I am at my happiest when it is fall. I go outside in the cool air and read….and I am Happy and content.

I love my friends. Deeply. I would do anything for them. I love laughing with them, eating with them, going on trips with them…just spending time with them. It still amazes me that people want to be my friend. I am not the easiest person to have around some times. I love my friends because they let me be me. They let me love art, listen to weird music, read comic books, wear stupid shirts about stolen bikes, they let me teach there kids about comic books, they eat my cooking, they let me say sassy things and get away with it. I think they love me too but I never like to assume anything. My friends make me happy, they support me, and they tell me when I am being stupid. I know I love them because I would be willing to have them around for the rest of my life…

When I let myself actual love something or someone…it changes me. I am never the person I was before. This is a why I am always cautious to let someone into my life...I want to make sure I am loving the right person, whoever it may be.

I love places I haven't even been yet. Like Spain...I know I will love it one day when I actually get to go see.London..Defiantly.Ireland...we were made for each could i not love it.

Love....its a strange thing to me.I still try to resist it.....God doesn't like it when I do that.But when i do break down and Love something or someone it changes me.

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