Thursday, December 30, 2010

This is my Altar….

Taking a look back on my year it has been busy and full of life. Something I would hope it would be. SO I am building an altar in remembrance of what the Lord as done this year. An altar you might say…what is this girl talking about. Well you build an altar to remember what took place on that spot. SO generation from now they too can look around see that the Lord did something there.

It’s been a rough year but a good year. I fought most of the year with Jesus but we are working it out. I couldn’t leave him if I tried. He owns me and he knows it. He likes to reminded me often that no matter how hard I push him away…I can’t. . He is always talking to, he is always loving me..even when I can’t love myself.

I started a blog. Its the scariest thing I think I have ever done. To write, to be honest about what is going on in my life and then to put it out there for people to read… not like me at all. I am not a writer by any means. I am not eloquent or profound. I do think it’s therapeutic for me.

I had a dream come true this year! I went to comic com. I cried. Such a girl, I know! I thought I would never be able to go.BUT happen, I went, I loved it. I was surrounded by geeks, creeps, nerds and herds of people. I was in geek heaven!! Comic book over load. Most importantly I came back in one piece. It was fast paced and crazy.I LOVED every signal minute of it. The best part about it I went with one my best friends so it made it even more special.

I hurt my back this year. It was one of the toughest things I have had to go through. I did it without medication. Let me tell ya that my friend was a bitch!! I knew the Lord did not want me to take pain killers so I didn’t. I know you are thinking I am crazy, well..I am! I try to be homeopathic as much as I can in my life, Alternative medicine is my first option. Don’t get me wrong I am still thankful for modern medicine.

One of my best friends, Annie, had her first child Chloe. There is something about seeing someone you love get what they have wanted for most of their life. I was beyond excited for Chloe to come into this world!!! I love that little girl more then I think anyone realizes. She is sweet, perfect, loving and cute as a button. Chloe is special to me, I can’t explain it, but I hope I can see her grow up.

I became the Greeter Leader at my church. I don’t know why they thought it was a good idea to put me in charge of something…but they did. It has changed my life. Its ministry, I feel like I fail more then I achieve. I could be a better leader, I am horrible at spreadsheets and yet I have to make them all the time. HA! God has a sense of humor, doesn’t HE? I love my church and I am humbles and honored that let me serve them every week by welcoming them into place where they encounter God. To some people they just see a girl , opening a door, saying good morning. BUT to me …to me.. its fulfilling a calling that God has given me. I get to love the “stranger”..I have the pleasure of welcoming the parricidal sons and daughters of God back into The Kingdom….. and that in itself is a gift for me. I think it a miracle in its itself that me, of all people, is talking about loving a church, serving a church and loving people. If you would have ask me 5 years ago if that would happen I would have laughed in your face and told you, no, it would have never happen. That’s a different story for a different time.

I had my 10 year high school reunion. It’s always interesting to have all of us in the same room…… we will leave it at that.

I changed positions at my job. It was hard and it still is.

I did a lot of cooking AND that always makes me happy. I may not be good at a lot of things in life…but I am good at cooking.

There’s a lot more that has happen this year but there’s glimpse into.
I have changed a lot this year; I can’t put it into words how I have changed….I just have. Maybe this means that this coming year will be filled with new things! I sure hope so…..I hope it is filled with adventure, sunsets, laughter, and good food, dreams that come true and love. So, this is my altar however flimsy it may be . I know for a first time in a long time….I have actually lived a life this year…I haven’t let myself do that in a long time and it felt good.

Monday, December 27, 2010

Just so you know I was thinking of you....

Christmas. Not my favorite time of the year. I feel so emotionally inadequate. I went through a rough couple of years in my younger days and I have been left with not all of my emotions intact. It really shows up this time of year. I have to work really hard to focus on the present day and not the past…

I can’t find the words to write down how I feel about this time of year and it make me frustrated. I don’t like feeling frustrated it makes me think I am stupid. I am weird..yes..I know this.

I am not a scrooge. I love giving gifts and I am glad Jesus was born……I just think….its just hard for me to ….i will never be normal. I can’t feel the same things everybody else is.

I know I have been healed from my past ( depression and hurting myself) but I am still not a whole girl. I still struggle on a day to day basis of grasping onto and owning my healing .Maybe one day when I say “Happy Christmas” I will mean it and not feel like they are empty words bounce off the walls.

I push my feeling aside, I take a deep breath, I block out thoughts of scissors….I put a smile on..I say “Merry Christmas” and I hope the people beside me know that I care about them enough to fight everyday to find my way to a place where…I can feel. It sounds dramatic but some days that's just the plain truth.

One good thing..I laughed a lot these last couple of days. That always a good sign….
One thankful thing…I spent Christmas with people that I love (family and friends new and old)…
One thing that never happen before…we had a white Christmas. I wasn’t excited about it but everybody else was.
One of my favorite gifts...A real copper British tea kettle.Can you say in love?

Enough about that! A new year is around the corner and I am excited about that. I hope it’s filled with new and unexpected things.

Thursday, September 16, 2010


I have had a lot going on lately!!! Currently right now I am seating at home with a bad back( I healed in the name of Jesus).

Moving on! Work is crazy, its hard, its stressful and I am thankful I have a job. Maybe one day i will get to doing something I love.

I have been really busy at church. I love that place! I love serving this community I have found. I am the greeter leader...i am responsible for making sure you feel welcomed when you walk in through the front doors. I love it! i think its part of my calling for right now. I feel like there are certain parts of me that were made for this " calling".

I have been hanging out with my friends...I love them. I wish I could spend all day with them. :)

the holidays are around the corner BUT first there is FALL. I love Fall...everything about it. i cant wait. Christmas on the other hand can just pass on by.

OK, i need to go lay down now. See ya later!

Thursday, August 5, 2010

I tried to leave God

A few years ago I tried to leave God. I was done, I blame him for everything that had gone horribly wrong in my life.I was really unfair to him.

I gave up trying to even pretend that I was OK. I wasn't OK...HE wasn't making any better..he wasn't taking all my pain away. ( I have changed my point of view since then )

I tried it my way for little while. I ended up more hurt and more bitter.

The first conversation I had with him right after I deiced that was tired of this S___t was like this:

Me: OK........I am ready.
God:Me too, I have been waiting for you, I've been missing you.

Me:I give up, we can do it your way now.

This conversation has continued for years now.He has healed me, forgiven me, loved me, changed me......his never left me. no matter what I have said to him ( and I have said a lot) his never pushed me away.

I know now, looking back, that I was the one that pushed myself away from him but that he followed me where ever I went.

I was reminded about this time in my life while I was reading one of my favorite blogs tonight.He was talking about Psalms 139...

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.
2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.
3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.
4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
and the light become night around me,”
12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;
the night will shine like the day,
for darkness is as light to you.
13 For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you
when I was made in the secret place.
When I was woven together in the depths of the earth,
16 your eyes saw my unformed body.
All the days ordained for me
were written in your book
before one of them came to be.
17 How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 Were I to count them,
they would outnumber the grains of sand.
When I awake,
I am still with you.
19 If only you would slay the wicked, O God!
Away from me, you bloodthirsty men!
20 They speak of you with evil intent;
your adversaries misuse your name.
21 Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD,
and abhor those who rise up against you?
22 I have nothing but hatred for them;
I count them my enemies.
23 Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
24 See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting.

Then the blogger said "Good or bad, I can’t run from Him…He’s already everywhere that I’m heading. " And that's when I said AMEN!!!

He's already everywhere that I'm heading.....

God has changed me and my life over the past couple of years....that even if I tired to leave Him I couldn't. I want to , all the time, This is the hardest relationship I have ever had.Some days I am not up for it...but no matter how I feel about our relationship or him, he is always standing right there beside me.Good or bad, I can’t run from Him .

It pisses me off some days, that I cant run from him....

But I truly love him so much I cant stand not be near him for more then a couple of days. Lame!!! I know.

I tried to leave God and I found out...Good or bad, I can’t run from Him…He’s already everywhere that I’m heading.

Monday, August 2, 2010

The beginnings of my bucket list….

Before I start writing my list , my question to you is.......Should one ever stop putting new things on there " Bucket List"?

My answer for me is..NO. I hope that I never stop putting things on my " Bucket List". If I do I think that will be the point where I stop hoping and dreaming for thing to come into my life. I never want to stop asking for more out of my life. Does anybody out there know what I mean?

In no particular order...

-Pet and feed a giraffe
-Get a tattoo
-To go to Comic Con : Done
-To learn another language
-To have a job that I love
-To write something meaningful land beautiful
-To go to these places:

-To make a difference in someones life
-To go to the Olympics( to watch ..not to be in it!)
-Enter a cooking contest

That is it for today.

I will keep thinking....

Saturday, July 31, 2010

Post -Con

As I am sitting here getting ready to tell you about one the best trips of my life.... and I have some type of cold\sinus crud. Thats what you get with 4 plan rides and 4 days among 167,000 people.

COMIC CON!!!!! was amazing. I had the best time. It was everything I hoped for and more. I really cant put it all in words, I am still processing everything. It was 5 full days. We did ALOT. We saw some panels, big bang theory, chuck, true blood,bones...I could go on and on.

There was ALOT and by that I mean ALOT of people where ever we went. But I never felt like we couldn't get any where. Sure we stood in lines for hours to get into the panels we wanted to see but I thought the crowed control went well. The Con was a well oiled machine.

I saw some great new comics and comic artist, saw cool comic book related stuff. I got to see some movie stars and hang out with some great friends.

I had a wonderful time with Michelle and Paul. There was a lot of walking.....But I had a grand time. It was a dream come true!!!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010


So the day has come....the day I thought would never come.....COMIC CON.

I never thought I would be able to go. It was on my bucket list. Every year it happens and every year I am jealous I am not there.

I am still in awe of the fact that there is a chance I will be in the same space as some of my favorite comic book legends.( Stan Lee and Marc Silvestri to name a few.)There may be some geek tears shed during this 4 day geek freak debacle. I mean after all its not everyday a geeky girls dreams come true.

I am going to brave the seas of geek humanity to behold the Mecca of our ( comic book) geek religion.This is our sanctuary, our holy land. This is where we pray to the gods of Marvel and DC, Dark Horse , Top Cow and Vertigo.

I am trying to not go into this experience with too many expectation. I have hopes, dream and reality.

Hopes that I will somehow get more signatures from artist and stars then I expected.Hopes of being able to see fantastic graphic novel art ( my favorite kind)! Hopes of find something cool among the vender's to buy and bring home.

Dreams. I have dreams that some how when I am at the Tweet- House party Zachary Levi will see me, fall madly in love with me and I can have all his babies. ( Too personal?! sorry!)

Real Dream. I get to meet Stan Lee . I am a Marvel girl after all. I only read Marvel comic, X-men to be exact.

Reality.Things I know to expect. LOTS and LOTS of people, and entirely to much spandex :shudders:....and I am about to geek out like I have never done before.

I am so excited !!! I am looking forward to a trip with good friends, visiting one of my favorite cites and swimming in seas of comic book geek-y-ness. Wish me luck!!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

Love...its strange

Love is powerful thing. It changes’ you ……When you let it. The moment you let in …it changes your life forever.

I am not just talking about a love between couples. I am still single so I haven’t really gotten to that type of commitment yet.

I am talking about your family, friends, place in the world. When it hits you one day…” I love _____.” The first time a parent sees’s there kid. The first time you have the most perfect chocolate croissant. The first time you decided this person seating beside you is your new best friend. The moment you fall in love with a book I could go on and on.

I fall in love with places. Does that sound weird? Book stores. I love bookstores. I am pretty sure the inside of my heat looks like one. I love the way they smell… paper and ink and coffee….I love that air never moves, it quite, it has lots and lots of shelves. I love that you feel all the unread words in the air circling around you head. I love how a book can find you. I love how you can fall in love with a book…The language, the feelings, the rhythm and the rhyme of the writer. The characters, the setting…I love how I get attached to books. I love the feel a new hardback book. So crisp!! And that smell….that’s what words smell like to me.

My love affair with books and book stores go back to when I was younger. I had tough time learning how to read and to spell. I still struggle with spelling. My brain just gets confused. Anyway when I was teenager I feel in love with reading….it calms me down it helps me focus…it makes me happy to read. Reading is quite…I like the quite. I am not a bigger talker..I can have a conversation, yes but I don’t need to fell the empty space with talk. I love everything about a book the pages, the ink, the glue…….. Everything.

I love fall, the season, its cold and quite. It smells of fallen summer. The leaves are on the ground. I can wear hoodies and flip flops at the same time. There are apples, and carved pumpkins, chocolate dip marshmallows, trips to the mountains…the sun sets early. If I was a season I would be fall. The music group Bon Iver sounds like what fall feels like to me. Does that make scenes?? I am at my happiest when it is fall. I go outside in the cool air and read….and I am Happy and content.

I love my friends. Deeply. I would do anything for them. I love laughing with them, eating with them, going on trips with them…just spending time with them. It still amazes me that people want to be my friend. I am not the easiest person to have around some times. I love my friends because they let me be me. They let me love art, listen to weird music, read comic books, wear stupid shirts about stolen bikes, they let me teach there kids about comic books, they eat my cooking, they let me say sassy things and get away with it. I think they love me too but I never like to assume anything. My friends make me happy, they support me, and they tell me when I am being stupid. I know I love them because I would be willing to have them around for the rest of my life…

When I let myself actual love something or someone…it changes me. I am never the person I was before. This is a why I am always cautious to let someone into my life...I want to make sure I am loving the right person, whoever it may be.

I love places I haven't even been yet. Like Spain...I know I will love it one day when I actually get to go see.London..Defiantly.Ireland...we were made for each could i not love it.

Love....its a strange thing to me.I still try to resist it.....God doesn't like it when I do that.But when i do break down and Love something or someone it changes me.

Monday, June 28, 2010


I am freaking out!!!! Why you may ask....Cause I am going to COMIC CON!!! Comic F!#king Con.If you don't know what it is, it is comic book / sci fi convention that happens every year in San Diego. If you are a geek , like me, then this is your mother ship coming home. This is your Mecca....this is were you go to see , and geek out, on everything comic book and sci fi related.

I am still in shock that I am going. It hasn't hit me yet.I have already cried about the fact that I am going. This is a dream come true for me, seriously.

I will be going with my friends Michelle and Paul.It's going to be AWESOME.

This may really be one of the first things I get to check off my "bucket list". ( I will try to put that up later this week)

I am going to see so many freaks and is going to be ridiculous.

Omg! OMG! OMG!!!OMG!!OMG!!OMG!!!omg..omg! omg!!! I can't believe this is happening....EEEKKKK!

Monday, June 21, 2010

The Castle in the Sky

So yesterday I went to the Biltmore Estate with my friend Cristina. ( her middle name is Margarita ). We had a GREAT time. It was really hot!!!

We walked around the house for about an hour and half. We did the audio tour..yep that's right we were the dorks with the head phones on. It was educational. Ha! I love all the details that house has. the art, THE LI BARY. The library is my favorite room in the house. From the painted ceiling to the spiral stairs, to the old lovely books on the shelves. I will stop now..I'm just babbling.

Then we went to the gardens. I love the gardens. It peaceful and yet full of life all at the same time.I love art , as you know, and I think a garden is art.i wish my sister in law could have seen it, she a florist, she would have loved it.

We went to the creamery. Delicious!!! Speaking of delicious...our lunch was delicious. Hummus, goat cheese, fried pickles. We at Cedric tavern. Highly recommended.

All in all it was a great day !! Thanks Cristina!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I am Kitty Pryde...( this one is for Cristina becasue she asked me too)

( I will probably be crying the whole time I write this, don't worry.I am fine. I am just crying because God is good ...even when I push him away.)(This Blog is more therapeutic for me then me really keeping people up to date on my here we go with some therapy)

I love comic books.Particularly marvel comic books. Even more particularly X-men. I have loved the X-men since I was little, I am talk like 10 or 11 here.Phoenix is my favorite..if i had to pick one.

I try to go every two weeks, when the new issues come out, to pick up my X-men comics.These little books are art to me. I love art!!!!!It makes me happy, it opens my mind and my heart. It makes feel close to God when I am surround by art. Weird, I know.

So, for almost my whole life I have loved the x-men. Watched them on T.V., read about there adventures, watched them on the movie screen, Silently stared at the art on the slick pages for years. I LOVE comic books....deeply!!!!

The set up:

About a year a ago I was out to eat with my one of my Pastors, Amanda Martin, I was telling her about some of my "story". about how the Lord had healed some wounds that were in my life, How I had struggled with depression for years, about ALL the walls I had built up to keep the emotions out of my life. I was so broken, I couldn't handle feeling anything.

At one point of my life I had given up on God.I felt like he had given me some low blows, so to speak, in my life.I had some stuff happen that I couldn't bounce back from.So, I stood on the "edge" and cussed Him out. Blamed him for the hurt and pain in my life.I grew bitter and angry towards him.I ran as far as could away from him.I drowned in my sorrows. I cut myself to pieces( literally), I pushed everyone I loved away.From the outside nothing ever really changed. I did what was expected of me...I just smiled on the outside...and was living in hell on the inside. I felt invisible to this world. I felt like I was a women set on fire, standing in a room full of people holding glasses of water and no one would help put the fire out.I carried so much grief and sorrow around that I could barely breathe. I was in pain, I was bitter, I was wounded, I was sinful, I was hurt, I was a bitch, I was lost.....I was alone because I refused the only person that could fix me, God.

I continued to tell Amanda that when I couldn't handle it any more I went to God and said...." I am ready, I am sorry"I told her that I found out that God was there even when I was drowning myself in sorrow and cutting myself to pieces. .It's and on going process, God fixing me. Its taken years to break down the walls I had put up. He healed my soul, he has made me new. He gives me strength to face my fears and not be so afraid of this life He has given me.

That's when she looked at me and said" Do you know who the x-men are?" See, she didn't know about my love for X-men. I laughed and said " yeah, there my favorite".

Amanda: Do you know who Kitty Pryde is?

Me: yeah, she can walk through walls or any solid object for that matter.

Amanda: Well, that's who you are. I think that's who God has made you to be, you can walk through walls and the best part is Kitty Pryde helps people go through the walls too.When people are with Kitty, she helps them walk through whatever is in there way. Whatever is trapping them from moving on.

This my not make since to you but to me it was like a light bulb going off.Right in that moment God showed me what she meant by it.Have you ever had a vision from God? I have ,I get them just get used to it being weird.

I had a vision of me running through walls, full force, nothing holding me back.Never having to be stuck behind a "wall" again.
It meant a lot to me that God would use something I have loved for most of my life to show me a picture of who I am now.

He has healed my wounds. He has loved me back to a place were I feel like a person again.He has given me the ability to walk through my walls. He never left my side, even in my darkest hours.I was just too blind to see that He was there right beside me. I love him with every ounce of my body. We still fight, I still yell at him.... But God is too much a part of me now for me to walk away from him again.He is down in my very just cant walk away from something or someone like that. I don't know what its like to breathe without him beside me....and that's the way I want it. I don't want there to ever be an option for me to leave him agian.

I was lost but now I am found.I was blind but now I see....

There is more to the story but that was a lot for one post . I will stop here!

This is Kitty Pryde signing off! ;)

10 years..

( we are missing a couple of peopel in the above photo)
A couple of weekends ago I went to my 10 year high school reinion. Whats that you say ?.... I dont look old enough to have graduated 10 years ago.

You make me blush!


I went to RCS ( Resurrection Christian School). We were a small school. I graduated with 19 other people. I love each and ever one of them.We went through high school together...If that doesn't build a bond for life I don't know what will. HA!

It was great to see everybody!We had a good time.

I had a tough time the last year and a half of high school. Its hard enough being an emotional , hormonal teenager then lets add one of my close friends dieing.It was hard, theirs were days when I didn't want to get out of bed, days where it would have been easier to die myself then have to live through another moment , there were days were there was cutting, suicidal thoughts and just plan not remembering how got anywhere cause I would just blank out. ( I didn't really start talking about what went on in that time in my life till about 2 years ago). The point of my telling all that sad stuff is this...The people I went to high school with, helped my get through my days with out ever knowing that they were helping me.( Jesus helped me too)
They hold a special place in my heart.I love seeing them whenever I can. I still have some very close relationships with some of the people I graduated with. I love the fact that I can still call people I went to high school with friends ten years later. Not many people can do that.

We were a rowdy bunch. All the rules were made for us. ALL OF THEM.We broke all of them too.We were good kids....but like I said..we were rowdy!

So here is to the class of 2000! I love ya!

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

30 Things

My pastor, Johnathan Martin, Gave us a challenge this week. We need to come up with 30 things we are thankful for. So here we go.( no particular order)

1.My family
2.My friends ( they are pretty great)
3.My job ( even if it does drive me crazy)
4.My car
5.My church
5.That I get to greet people every signal Sunday at my church :)
6.That my friends are dorks just like me
8. comic books
10. My favorite songs when they come up on my ipod when it on shuffle
11.My flowers at my front door.
12.When I get to spend time with my friends kids...there cute.
13.For still being alive
16. airplanes
17.for beautiful places on this earth that I haven't even seen yet.
18.For early morning sunlight when it hits my curtains just right..and it make my room looks like its golden.
19.that I am not lonely anymore
20.For my CLG
22.Fall ( the season)
23.Carved pumpkins
25.Road trips
26. Laughing so hard I cry
27.The perfect cup of coffee
29.For you :)

What are you thankful for?

Thursday, May 20, 2010


Oh Gosh! Where to start…..I have been busy lately. I have changed positions at work, I have stepped up my responsibilities at the church I attend. There have been big changes at church. There have been changes going on in my friends lives as well. Every where I turn everything is different. I have a hard with change , see the thing about change is you cant control it, if you cant control it…it makes you uncomfortable. Who wants to be uncomfortable, no one that who!!!

This is something I am working out with the Lord. Well there are a lot of things I am working out with the Lord. Its tough work having a really honest relationship, no matter who it is with.

Moving on!! I got to hangout with two of my oldest and dearest friends this past weekend. Hannah and Annie. They have been around for over 20 years. WOW! We had a grand time talking and eating and hold little Chloe ( Annie had a little girl about 3 months ago). There really is nothing better in this world then setting around with old friends and just being together. Thanks girls for loving me all those years even when it wasn’t easy, you girls are always in my thoughts and I love you!

What else is going on….Work. Work is frustrating and different, confusing and challenging .I have had a rough couple of weeks with all the new stuff. I pray a lot cause I don’t understand a lot. It will get better with time has too. I am getting to know the new people the make up the new group I am in. I like meeting new people.

Church! I have stepped in to some new responsibilities at church. That makes me nervous, to be in charge of something is scary!!!! But I have great leaders , so I know they will help me out if I need some. My church is also moving for a second time in one year. This time it is a little more permanent. I am excited about our new buildings.

Me in general lately….I have been frazzled, tired, stressed, emotional, not ok, not bouncing back, mad at God, whining, not willing to listen, hurt, pissed . At the same time I have been blessed and loved by a God who even when I want to push away never leaves me. See, me and God we are working some things out…its hard but its worth it in the long run. Enough about that.

In a couple of weeks I will be going to my 10 year high school reunion. Man!!! Times flies! I will let you know how it goes. ( I have to figure out something to wear….Ugh!!!)

So , there it is …. a lot of nothing but it means something to me.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

I am still here

I haven't forgotten about this place. I have just been really busy!!!! I will tell you all about soon.

Sunday, May 2, 2010


That's how I feel about life right now. I am a little run down and little sleep deprived.
I am spiritual worn out emotionally worn out and physically worn out.

I need a vacation. I need a road trip. I need some time with myself and more time with Jesus. I need some time in a bookstore. I need some time to catch my breathe. I need some time....

The reason I am so tired is because there is lot of change going on in my life. Spiritually, emotionally, even at work and church there is change. I told the Lord next time He chose to pour down change in my life that he need to give me some bucks to catch it in, cause I'm drowning here.....and not in a good way.

I hope I haven't scared you yet! Don't worry it will work it's self out.I know that there are people on this earth that have far worse situation they are going through. I don't think I have it bad off at all. It's just my season of struggle. Don't worry I have told Jesus how I feel about everything that is going.....we are working on it.

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


( This is a random blog but it sort of came to me out of no where!!! Sorry, if it doesn't make since. My question do you feel about your FAITH??)

This thing we call FAITH is not for the faint of heart. The journey of FAITH is for the broken and the healed, the lost and the ones that have been found. FAITH is for the dismembered and for the put back together. Faith is for the hurt and the forgiven. This journey of FAITH is not for the maybes it is for the I have decided.FAITH is for the soldiers and the protesters.

FAITH is for the scared and delivered, for the used and set aside. Faith is for the claimed and conquered, it for the consecrated and for the disregarded. Faith is for the cutters and the depressed, the delivered and the ones that are still held captive.

FAITH is for the geek, the nerd, the liars, the dreamers and the misfits.

Its for white, black, Jew or gentile. This journey of FAITH is not for the faint of heart because this road is lined with the trail of the blood of the believers have gone before us. So, keep your Faith close at hand...... because it is something that should be prized, nourished and shared.