The day you have to say goodbye….

Those days will always come in to your life…the days were you have to say goodbye to someone or something, a certain time in your life. Those are the hard days for me.

For example……The day I had to say good bye to one of my best friend, she had been died for years but I had never let her go. I had never untangled her from my life.I had hit the " pause" button I am not saying I wanted to forget her. I just needed to say goodbye for now so I could move on with my life. I had never said goodbye. I cried harder on that day then the day I buried her because it was final this time. This time I meant it , this time I was on the other side of the anger and the bitterness, this time I was already use to the idea of her not being here. This time is already been through the loss of it all. 　

I hate saying goodbye. In my life, it always seems, that whomever and whatever I say goodbye to …its for good. I am sentimental, I horrid memories away so I can bring them out every now and again. And watch them replay in mind. They show like old home movie from the 50’s all grainy and discolored and with no sound.

I hate saying goodbye but I know if I am saying good bye then there is has been something worth wildl to have had said “hello’ to. That in return leaves me with something real…a memory, a belief, a piece of my heart I never knew existed and it finally came alive in all sadness that we call goodbye. ( sorry that rhymed)

Are the “hellos” worth all the pain of all the “goodbyes”?

Alfred Lord Tennyson said” 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”Do you agree? Do you ever REALLY get over the “losing “part ? That not being the same after someone or something you love leaves? I know I wasn’t…I know it took me a long time to get to a point where I was ok with the act of saying goodbye and really meaning it. It leaves you empty, it leaves vulnerable, but most scary of all it leaves me open to the new “hellos” the Lord has for me.

So in my life I try to say my “ goodbyes “ with grace and bravery. And I try to say my “hellos” with openness and kindness. It doesn’t always work…..but I try!